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: Change Upon Change :
Five months ago the stream did flow,
The lilies bloomed within the sedge,
And we were lingering to and fro,
Where none will track thee in this snow,
Along the stream, beside the hedge.
Ah, Sweet, be free to love and go!
For if I do not hear thy foot,
The frozen river is as mute,
The flowers have dried down to the root:
And why, since these be changed since May,
Shouldst thou change less than they.
The lilies bloomed within the sedge,
And we were lingering to and fro,
Where none will track thee in this snow,
Along the stream, beside the hedge.
Ah, Sweet, be free to love and go!
For if I do not hear thy foot,
The frozen river is as mute,
The flowers have dried down to the root:
And why, since these be changed since May,
Shouldst thou change less than they.
And slow, slow as the winter snow
The tears have drifted to mine eyes;
And my poor cheeks, five months ago
Set blushing at thy praises so,
Put paleness on for a disguise.
Ah, Sweet, be free to praise and go!
For if my face is turned too pale,
It was thine oath that first did fail, —
It was thy love proved false and frail, —
And why, since these be changed enow,
Should I change less than thou.
-Elizabeth Barret Browning
Albany’s governor proposed budget eliminates funding for eating disorders in order to keep the focus on obesity and diseases related to obesity.
“In comparison to obesity and diabetes, eating disorders affect relatively few New Yorkers,” said Claudia Hutton, spokeswoman for the state Department of Health.
The governor’s budget will end the $1.7 million annual subsidies to the state’s three eating disorder centers, including $500,000 to Albany Medical Center. The cut would eliminate Albany Med’s entire budget and close the eating disorder program.
“It creates a huge void in the services we’ve been able to develop,” said Dr. Sharon Alger-Mayer, medical director of the Northeast Comprehensive Care Center for Eating Disorders at Albany Med.
The program serves about 2,000 people through outpatient services and 50 people who need to be hospitalized each year at Albany Med for dehydration, malnutrition and organ problems related to eating disorders.
Christie Macfarlane was hospitalized at Albany Med when she was 10 years old. She was transferred to Rochester for more intensive residential services and then returned to Albany where she has received therapy, nutritional advice and medical treatment for five years.
“I don’t know if I would be standing here right now with my 15-year-old daughter thriving if those services hadn’t been there,” said Christie’s mother, Deborah Macfarlane. The Macfarlanes and other families lobbied legislators this week to restore the funding.
“This money is critical,” said Michael Ruslander of Delmar, the father of a teenager who was in dire health because of anorexia. “The treatment my daughter received, as well as the education my wife and I received on how to deal with, communicate and eat with your child who has an eating disorder was invaluable,” Ruslander said. “It’s horrible that you have to go through something like this, but the end result is we came out a better, stronger, more communicative family.” His daughter Molly is now a healthy, successful student at Maria College.
As the state seeks to close a $6.8 billion budget gap, agencies like the DOH are focusing on core issues.
The Department of Health’s mission is safe drinking water, obesity education, childhood vaccinations, investigating disease outbreaks and hospital complaints, Hutton said.
“Those are the kind of things that are the core of public health,” she said. “They are based on what affects most New Yorkers and things that people, frankly, expect somebody to do.”
Looking at the disease statistics, eating disorders trail far behind obesity. Among New Yorkers, 25 percent are obese, nearly 8 percent have diabetes and less than 1 percent suffer from anorexia nervosa.
The eating disorder programs should see *more support from private insurance companies since the state passed “mental health parity” legislation, which requires insurers to pay for mental health services, Hutton said.
* Yea, right! Who’s dreaming now?
Great news to implement MHPAEA!
Facing the bluntness of reality is the highest form of
sanity and enlightened vision… Devotion proceeds
through various stages of unmasking until we reach
the point of seeing the world directly and simply
without imposing our fabrications… There may
be a sense of being lost or exposed, a sense of vulnerability.
That is simply a sign that ego is losing its grip
on its territory; it is not a threat.
-Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
This month is such a busy month… I’m very blessed and so very happy that I’ve sold two paintings (not current work, but nonetheless- yeah!) and it was a carefree act on my end, thinking nothing would move someone to be so compelled for work that honestly doesn’t resonate for me personally right now– but all good!
Easter was nice, we are a culturally diverse family (hubby from India) so we partake in other various festivals and events, Holi (see above) being one this month too– my birthday is coming up (not telling how many candles- tsk!) and having our daughter home from residential after nearly three months of treatment is no light lot.
I love spring! New green shoots pushing forth from the ground– and the snow is finally melting here- yippee! New life, new beginnings… change.
And while our daughter is definitely on her road to recovery, this is not a easy road for her to travel– she still needs lots of love, encouragement and support. She is also quite young, so the decision to “just do it” and fully connect both physically and intellectually to what has taken place over the past year is not all there for her to wade through and have immediate light-bulb moments and decide that today is the day she knows ED is behind her- for good. She herself has openly admitted she “is not ready” to say ado to her tango with ED– not yet.
She has however been slowly “emptying” and “letting go” of ED– one day at a time. A deep breath in and a very long exhale out…
“What will become of me if I let go of my eating disorder?”
“How many times have you tried to let go by hanging on?”
It doesn’t work… and it doesn’t happen all at once. One day, one step, one mouthful at a time.
Our daughter did something incredibly powerful a few weeks back. She wrote a “good-bye” letter to ED and she opened herself up to share this moving note:
ED,
I need to leave you. You have made me do some relapses and only made me think about shapes, sizes or weights. I feel really bad for leaving you but it’s the only way I can stay on the path of recovery and be able to achieve my goals in life. I will miss you a lot.
You have helped clear my feeling of stress out and do something that makes me feel comfortable (restrict). You have really hurt me. My friends and family have been here supporting me, and it seems that you want to shove my parents away. You also have not made me be able to hang out with my friends and then just isolate.
ED, I plan to take care of myself and to listen to myself more than YOU. I plan to become a ballet dancer and veterinarian, and enjoy my life and live my dreams. You may come back to me when I look into the mirror but I won’t let you take my passions away.
Good-bye ED-
Indeed. With the snow continuing to melt, the extended light of the days and the darkness of winter slowly turning more and more towards spring, I feel a renewed sense of Hope and Strength for our daughter’s continued striving forward towards full health, full Life. There will be days, as there already are, that will challenge and the proverbial two steps forward, three-five steps back… but she’ll get there and we’re all right there behind her cheering her on!
Happy Spring- Happy Holi-Hai!
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield
but to be my own strength.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved
but hope for patience to own my freedom.
-Rabindranath Tagore
-Sarvamangalam!
“It’s about opening up the doors and ending the shadow of discrimination against the mentally ill.”
-Patrick Kennedy
Today’s news is quite uplifting. And the 268-148 vote does speak to the dire need to continue towards enacting mental-health parity and mandating health insurance coverage equal to that of physical illness for mental health and addiction. I think Paul Wellstone would be encouraged to see some progress being made after nearly a decade of back and forth bi-partisan bickering and huge corporate influence , (and currently, to no one’s surprise, big-ph-arm Eli Lilly is really throwing a tantrum!), to strangle this vital legislation.
And there are plenty of critics who are rallying this victory as “mental-health insanity” and clearly looking only at their own financial dunk, but it’s truly time to stop stigmatizing those with mental illness who clearly need the same standard of quality care and treatment that any sane society would not withhold or financially ruin one with personally while working towards full health, healing and recovery.
I, unfortunately live in a state that does not currently have mental-health parity- yet. But I was impressed to read an in depth study done last spring by the La Follette School of Public Affairs in our state, that despite not having all the conclusive data to make absolute recommendations regarding mental-health parity, has incredibly convincing and thought-provoking details putting to bunk some of the primary reasoning against implementing mental-health parity that I would encourage anyone interested in advocating for mental health disparity to read. These studies really can be applied and adapted for further critique and implemented across all states, so that we will eventually see more than thirteen states that have adopted mental-health parity law.
-shanti
I find Eating By The Light Of The Moon to be a fitting thought for the day…
Your body is precious.
It is your vehicle for awakening,
treat it with care.
-BUDDHA
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