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Happiest Makara Sankranthi!

Our time on this Earth is sacred

and we should celebrate every moment.

-Paulo Coelho

Assalamu Alaikom

Each star a rung,night comes down the spiralstaircase of the evening.
The breeze passes by so very close
 as if someone just happened to speak of love.

 

In the courtyard,the trees are absorbed
 refugees embroidering maps of return on the sky.

 

 On the roof,the moon – lovingly, generously -is turning the stars into a dust of sheen.
 From every corner, dark-green shadows,in ripples, come towards me.
At any moment they may break over me,
like the waves of pain each time I remember this separation from my lover.

 

 This thought keeps consoling me:
though tyrants may command that lamps be smashed
in rooms where lovers are destined to meet,
they cannot snuff out the moon,
so today,nor tomorrow, no tyranny will succeed,
no poison of torture make me bitter,
if just one evening in prison
can be so strangely sweet,
if just one moment anywhere on this earth.
-Faiz Ahmed Faiz

Niyama...

 

Grateful to be part of this year’s gathering
____________________
‘When the sun has set, and the moon has set, and the fire has gone out, and speech has stopped, what light does a person here have?’
The soul, indeed, is his light,’ said he, ‘for with the soul, indeed, as the light, one sits, moves about, does one’s work, and returns.’
BRHADARANYAKA UPANISAD, IV. 3.6.

Anil Kapoor in his heyday before Slumdog

 

होली मुबारक

Pichkari ki dhar, gular ki bauchar,apno ka pyar, yahi hai HOLI ka tyohar.

*Wishing you and your family A Very Happy and Colourful HOLI*

Sarah Stevens (center) and siblings-StarTimes

I love reading authentic stories about hard-won recovery work unadulterated by a gamut of other voices and agendas. And when it’s coupled with a genuine spirit and determined passion to make a difference in the eating disorder community you can’t help but be touched and feel gratitude toward those who have not only triumphed over an eating disorder but are determined to implement change.

So while in the midst of carving the last finishing touches upon our collected Jack-O-Lantern harvest and waiting to roast the seeds, allow Sarah Stevens’s story to inspire (you can also sponsor her ‘Walk’ scheduled in November: beautifulstars@hotmail.co.uk or sponsor by phone: (09)426-4844)and cast the goblins away this Halloween Day!

Happy Samhain to my Earth-centered friends!

Apako ashirwad mile Ganesh se-Blessings from Lord Ganesh
Vidya mile Saraswati se-Knowledge from Goddes Saraswati
Daulat mile Lakshmi se-Wealth from Goddess Lakshmi
Khushiyan mile Rab se-Happiness from the Divine
Pyaar mile Sab se-Love from everyone
Rahe yahi dua dil se dil ko-Let this be the wish from heart to heart!
‘HAPPY DIWALI’

 

: Sarva mangala mangalye shive sarvartha sadhike

Sharanye trayambake gauri, Narayani namostute :

_______________________________


: O Mother ! You are the personification of all that is auspicious,

You are the benevolent form of Lord Shiva,

You bestow Divine energy and help people achieve Righteousness, wealth, fulfill desires and Liberation,

You are worthy of being surrendered to.

Three eyes adorn You.

O Narayani Devi, I pay obeisance to You

 

Some of the most common events become quite significant when your child has an eating disorder, and at times worry seems to be a constant irritating leach sucking your Mom-force astray even when the coast is clear.

For the past two years our daughter has missed out on class trips due to the pernicious nature of the eating disorder. And as if heading back to school doesn’t already bring with it some added stress and anxiety for a developing young middle-schooler, these trips always take place at the beginning of the year– great idea for setting the tone and building relationships for the school term, not so great idea if your child is trying to gauge the semester and transition in the first couple of weeks tacked on with the complexity of managing an eating disorder.

For the first year of middle school this trip was a no-go. Last year also didn’t happen since she was not yet able to make food-meal choices on her own, as well as eating without some additional support, and being comfortable enough to ask for help if encountering some difficulty and parents and family were not around.

Initial diagnosis of the eating disorder, immediate hospitalization, the following year inpatient and residential treatment, along with intensive outpatient treatment; days-months of missed school, family and social life seem strangely long ago, healing does take time.

This school year is markedly different though, our daughter is actually getting a bit pissy about missing out on certain aspects of teen social life and events her friends and peers seem to do “so easily”. These are things she also did easily, without second thought, prior to the eating disorder and another positive sign that she is remembering and awakening to her former Self.

This year’s “Leadership Trip” my baby is on the road for three days of fun and camaraderie. First to camp, canoeing, rope climbing and mingling while looking at the constellations, second to the State Capital, then finishing off sliding down the plastic tubes of a favored water park, who would want to miss this?

She left this morning her bags packed with extra snacks and necessities, pre-ordered her meals (all by herself- yeah!) and wasn’t embarrassed to give an extra hug.

But my ultimate moment came seeing her classic dimpled smile!

 

The road ahead is like the road behind.
The dreams achieved revise the dreams to come.
Mind shapes world, and new-shaped world shapes mind,
As what you are steps back from what you’ve done.
The deeper you resides in its own space,
Sheltered like a yolk from wind and tide,
Filled with unimaginable grace
To wander through the paradise inside.
Ambitious girl!
Become what dream you will,
And sail across each dark, forbidding sea.
Within, the fawn will graze sweet meadows still,
Untouched by all the phantoms you will be.
-Nicolas Gordon
 

 

Exams are done, the school year finished, award ceremonies to close the term ended with celebration, endless rounds of pictures, laughter, yearbooks signed and plans for “hangin’ out” in the months to come.  Another term ended, time to kick back, enjoy– relax. Summer feels close upon us! 

Our daughter has come so far since last year and continues to move ahead much stronger, healthier and so-so-so much happier– you see it in her dimpled smile, the flash and sparkle in her eyes, and the measured confidence she has steadily gained through her continued recovery, she is more herself vs the eating disorder.  As a family we are once again, becoming more whole, and definitely enjoying less visitation by the unwelcome nuisance- Anorexia.

Too many things we would all rather be doing at this time of year.  Places to go-visit, reconnecting with friends and family from another continent, more concentration on writing and my art… it’s time to take a much needed break– for all of us in our household, I think we’ve all earned it.

Will be back in the early to mid Fall– wishing all of you a very wonderful, healthy and restful Summer!

-shanti

                                        

                                          Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

                                         Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

                                     Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

                                      And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.

                                                              -SHAKESPEARE-

 

 

Vrishabha- the sacred bull of Lord Shiva… or more widely known- Taurus, the Bull reigns this month of May.  Our daughter turns 14 on this May 20th, and she definitely characterizes the nature of the bold, loyal, and very stubborn Taurus!

Before being diagnosed with Anorexia, birthday’s had always been a festive and richly tasting  affair.  And while we’ll continue partaking in this annual delight, it’s still a bit difficult for her to freely enjoy what never took a second guess years past.  She’s committed to challenging herself, though there are days she’s not too happy to do so, and will boldly (envision the Taurus with plumes of smoke flaring from nostrils!) make that clear– well, what were you like at 14, minus an eating disorder? 

I’m forever grateful to those who also remain equally, if not at times more, committed to helping support our daughter in keeping focus upon her recovery.  Recovery is not easy for sufferers, and parents still get  bawked a’ plenty and treated with disdain, misjudgment, and left to the side when there requires a much more encompassing circle to complete for true healing and whole-ness to take place.  And dualistically, sufferers also need their own space, their own pace to regain their true Selves back once nutritionally and weight stabilized– this requires alot of Love, patience, perseverance and sometimes a compassionately coordinated “team” all working together.  It makes me think of the Buddhist practice of mindfulness and the use of “a two-handed practice”:

_____

I can sit in my predicament as a witness, not as a plaintiff or judge: ‘Here I am in this situation and I sit squarely in it and breathe into it.  At the same time, I am aware that I can handle this and get through it without becoming devastated.  I can trust my competence neither to become dramatically overwhelmed nor to be stoically untouched.  This sense of competence frees me from fear, since fear thrives on powerlessness.  I imagine myself holding my predicament in one hand and my power to work with it in the other.  One hand is serenely mindful; one is courageously working.  When I hold both realities this way, I am agreeable to things as they are, and I am doing all I can to change them for the better as well.”   -D. Richo 

_____

This resonates with me deeply as a parent and the complexities illnesses like eating disorders present to us.  Now if only we can collectively and universally have provided the very best in evidence-based, highest standard of quality care of treating eating disorders and supporting families in such a comprehensively and equally accessible manner– that would be my wish!

Our daughter has many “wishes” and dreams she wants to pursue.  We simply want to wish her a very Happy Birthday, happy 14th Year, to continued Health and vitality… and to a courageous healthy-stubborn side that can be an anchor for her when difficulties and stress arise.  Knowing she can reach out and ask for help, she’s worth every ounce of her hard work on the road to recovery she has traveled thus far, and that we Love her very, very much!

-XOXO Mom*Dad*Big’Sis

 

This is a day of promise –
Of hopefulness, laughter, and cheer,
For this is a day of remembering
The good things that happened all year –
A day for reflecting on memories
Shared with friends and with family, too,
Who were so much a part
of the joys in your heart
And the love that you felt
all year through-
This is a day of promise
Of the beauty and warmth life can hold,
And of new dreams to dream
and more love to share
Through a year that’s about to unfold.

-Emily Matthews

End Health Discrimination
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