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Of all the quibbles that may carry on in these modern days of Thanks&Giving surely we can find the time to reflect a bit deeper and capture renewed meaning this Thanksgiving Day.
-Wishing all a Very Blessed and Happy Thanksgiving!
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For, after all,
put it as we may to ourselves,
we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread.
The sun, the earth, love, friends,
our very breath are parts of the banquet….
Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host,
and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long?
-Rebecca Harding Davis
-Melissa Punch
Blogger and writer Celina Ottaway (her blog-life is a wonderful and conscious journey!) wrote a nice piece for November’s issue of body+soul regarding an important component that is essential to all of our lives, eating disordered or not: FOOD – and how mindful eating (I’m partial to the term “conscious eating”) can help reconnect and form a healthier relationship to that which sustains us.
I don’t have an eating disorder. But like many women I know, somewhere along the way, eating — what, when, how much, in front of whom, how fast — got complicated. The sensation of hunger went from a physical signal with a simple response (“eat”) to a mixed emotion that has no clear solution. Should I, shouldn’t I? I’m being bad, I’m being good. I deserve this. I will hate myself in the morning. And on and on
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How did our appetites — for nourishment and pleasure — become suspect? Is it possible to listen to our bodies the way we did when we were children? The answers lie somewhere in the tangle of emotional, cultural, and neurological reactions that shapes our desire to eat. “Hunger is complicated,” says Jean Kristeller, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Indiana State University and president of The Center for Mindful Eating. Besides the actual physical sensation, “it has to do with a complexity of psychological cravings that may have very little to do with your physical need for food.”
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I love Celina’s parting thoughts:
Whether we move toward our deepest hungers or simply recognize them, we begin inhabiting ourselves more fully. And this moves us closer to feeling ourselves from the inside out, like we did once upon a time.
-NY Times
… and putting real faces and voices to the lives of those with Eating Disorders. The NYtimes Health Guide along with Well column/blog by Tara Parker has a wonderful piece documenting a variety of brave and courageous individuals who share their journey of Hope and Healing.
–shanti
I love fall!
I love our annual trip to the apple farm, the continued but slowing scramble to farmer’s markets until they close shop next month, the cool nights and the warmth of a wood-fed fire pit surrounded by the deep and intoxicating smells that this season brings along with it. The cornstalks soon to be put out along with the vibrantly hued pumpkins, the trees’ deciduous leaves now changing in accord… it’s a sensory orgasm!
Last week seemed a bit more hectic, balancing home, family and a personal work-life in conjunction with extended family and friends for our annual Late Summer-Fall Equinox potluck. But all the work and preparations reminded me how vital it is reconnecting with others whose lives are busy like ours, whose children are growing and/or grown, and gather for one evening to celebrate the change of season, share a bountiful meal, taste new creations, revisit old favorites and maintain some deeper meaning within our lives.
A couple of weeks ago I was inspired to see BANA (Bulimia Anorexia Nervosa Association) holding it’s Global Dinner Table Conference (wonderful titled theme!) and extending efforts to educate and connect within the Ontario region with spokeswoman, advocate and eTalk journalist Ms Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau presenting a powerful personal journey through recovery from bulimia. Now as a healthy mother, wife and proponent for eating disorders she stated quite beautifully: “healing means reconstructing your notion of self, and who you are, and your connection with the world”.
BANA is one of a handful of grassroots organizations that actually carries out valuable, useful support and services instead of only allocating funds-donations and collecting data, along with having a vital partnership with the Local Health Integration Networks (LHINs) that is broadly interconnected with hospitals, medical communities, local demographics, schools and universities to align more effectively with clinicians and the broader public to reach those in need and provide support for families.
Another organization of note that has recently joined earlier this month at the “global table” is BEDA (Binge Eating Disorder Association) which can be additionally pivotal towards connecting those whose diagnosis is either “undefined” “unspecified” or completely overlooked towards the resources they need, and continue providing the educational and preventative services as well as highlighting probably the most common form of eating disorder more broadly present.
It’s aspiring to see such organizations take root and develop, gathering together as a unified front to fight an illness that has left far too many for too long uninvited or unheard to now join at “the global table” to come together!
“O Autumn, laden with fruit, and stained
With the blood of the grape, pass not,but sit
Beneath my shady roof, there thou may’st rest,
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe;
And all the daughters of the year shall dance,
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers. “
– William Blake
Some of the most common events become quite significant when your child has an eating disorder, and at times worry seems to be a constant irritating leach sucking your Mom-force astray even when the coast is clear.
For the past two years our daughter has missed out on class trips due to the pernicious nature of the eating disorder. And as if heading back to school doesn’t already bring with it some added stress and anxiety for a developing young middle-schooler, these trips always take place at the beginning of the year– great idea for setting the tone and building relationships for the school term, not so great idea if your child is trying to gauge the semester and transition in the first couple of weeks tacked on with the complexity of managing an eating disorder.
For the first year of middle school this trip was a no-go. Last year also didn’t happen since she was not yet able to make food-meal choices on her own, as well as eating without some additional support, and being comfortable enough to ask for help if encountering some difficulty and parents and family were not around.
Initial diagnosis of the eating disorder, immediate hospitalization, the following year inpatient and residential treatment, along with intensive outpatient treatment; days-months of missed school, family and social life seem strangely long ago, healing does take time.
This school year is markedly different though, our daughter is actually getting a bit pissy about missing out on certain aspects of teen social life and events her friends and peers seem to do “so easily”. These are things she also did easily, without second thought, prior to the eating disorder and another positive sign that she is remembering and awakening to her former Self.
This year’s “Leadership Trip” my baby is on the road for three days of fun and camaraderie. First to camp, canoeing, rope climbing and mingling while looking at the constellations, second to the State Capital, then finishing off sliding down the plastic tubes of a favored water park, who would want to miss this?
She left this morning her bags packed with extra snacks and necessities, pre-ordered her meals (all by herself- yeah!) and wasn’t embarrassed to give an extra hug.
But my ultimate moment came seeing her classic dimpled smile!
The road ahead is like the road behind.
The dreams achieved revise the dreams to come.
Mind shapes world, and new-shaped world shapes mind,
As what you are steps back from what you’ve done.
The deeper you resides in its own space,
The deeper you resides in its own space,
Sheltered like a yolk from wind and tide,
Filled with unimaginable grace
To wander through the paradise inside.
Ambitious girl!
Ambitious girl!
Become what dream you will,
And sail across each dark, forbidding sea.
Within, the fawn will graze sweet meadows still,
Untouched by all the phantoms you will be.
-Nicolas Gordon
… then shouldst have it for gingerbread*. -William Shakespeare
* Or in my case fresh carrot cupcakes
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Summer is winding down and it’s been a fantastic couple of months. Gracious thanks to those of you who continued to email throughout the summer (for almost a month we were too deep in another world to even want access to the internet) with a wealth of supportive and heart-filled thoughts. I was touched beyond words that can even begin to express my endless appreciation to you all. And though I didn’t get a chance to respond to everyone in kind as of yet, I just wanted to share, once again how much this has meant to me and our family– merci!**
On another update-note, Drs Daniel le Grange and James Lock will be conducting a one and 1/2 day FBT-Maudsley training targeted towards adolescents with eating disorders in Portland, Maine: September 23-24th. What a wonderful opportunity to continue to utilize family-based, supportive and evidence backed treatment practices that integrate all those involved within their loved ones’ care and recovery. Mary Orear, executive director of Mainely Girls is sponsoring this event, for further information click on the highlighted link.
Hope all of you had a restful and recuperative Summer– and looking forward to reconnecting more regularly soon!
-shanti
With Dr Daniel leGrange taking his sabbatical in Australia there has been a hub of conference presentations and various skills-based workshops and training for implementing the Maudsley Method into eating disorder treatment and care as well as informing and assisting families and caregivers of utilizing this Family-Based approach to help their loved one.
The collaboration and gathering of these individuals, families and professionals probably could not have arrived at a better time since Australia has recently been highlighting an increase of younger children diagnosed with anorexia.
On a positive note, one Sydney mother describes their experience using the Maudsley Method for their adolescent daughter as valuable and further stated, “It’s not a quick fix. But we’re absolutely stronger as a family. We’ve always been strong.”
Go Maudsley!
The European Eating Disorder Review published two interesting case studies utilizing the NF therapuetic intervention which resulted in some differences (though it appeared both participants found the method beneficial from their personal feedback) which involve three distinct Sessions:
- Session 1 – Neuropsychological Assessment
- Session 2 – Feedback, Formulation & Target Setting
- Session 3 – Reflection
Researches Carolina Lopez, Marion Roberts, Kate Tchanturia and Janet Treasure make clear that these results are preliminary and indeed need further development and study, but that they show promise towards working individually with AN sufferers (I would also think this modality can be implemented and fine-tuned specifically within the other eating disorder spectrum/diagnosis’ as well) and their distinct cognitive processes that can be or become increasingly rigid, singly focused, and inflexible keeping one “stuck” (my words) in a repetitive cycle usually not helpful for an eating disorder sufferer. The “aim of the intervention is to help individuals transcend their information processing styles and develop a more balanced strategy in their relationship with food and shape/weight“.
What stood out positively within the study was pointing out that there is no “right or wrong” in terms of a sufferers cognitive style, and that the emphasis was not to constantly drill a negative personal message of something being “wrong” with an individual. But rather, using the modality to assist in being able to “step back” (where the reflection session comes in) and gain some personal perspective, more reflectively to “problem solve” and restrategize what may be perpetuating a cyclical unhealthy processing in terms of the eating disorder and cognitive-rigidity; and expand a broader scope to better assist and support the sufferer within continued recovery.
What also stood out to me personally in reviewing the case studies was a reflection upon how “acting quickly”, finding treatment, experienced and trained providers, and having a “plan of action” earlier vs later cannot be understated. And sometimes you have to really be a bug up someones arse to get things moving and changing, or finding better care if you’re not getting the services you or your loved one need– so don’t give up, keep plugging forward — everyday is a new beginning.
-shanti
Vrishabha- the sacred bull of Lord Shiva… or more widely known- Taurus, the Bull reigns this month of May. Our daughter turns 14 on this May 20th, and she definitely characterizes the nature of the bold, loyal, and very stubborn Taurus!
Before being diagnosed with Anorexia, birthday’s had always been a festive and richly tasting affair. And while we’ll continue partaking in this annual delight, it’s still a bit difficult for her to freely enjoy what never took a second guess years past. She’s committed to challenging herself, though there are days she’s not too happy to do so, and will boldly (envision the Taurus with plumes of smoke flaring from nostrils!) make that clear– well, what were you like at 14, minus an eating disorder?
I’m forever grateful to those who also remain equally, if not at times more, committed to helping support our daughter in keeping focus upon her recovery. Recovery is not easy for sufferers, and parents still get bawked a’ plenty and treated with disdain, misjudgment, and left to the side when there requires a much more encompassing circle to complete for true healing and whole-ness to take place. And dualistically, sufferers also need their own space, their own pace to regain their true Selves back once nutritionally and weight stabilized– this requires alot of Love, patience, perseverance and sometimes a compassionately coordinated “team” all working together. It makes me think of the Buddhist practice of mindfulness and the use of “a two-handed practice”:
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I can sit in my predicament as a witness, not as a plaintiff or judge: ‘Here I am in this situation and I sit squarely in it and breathe into it. At the same time, I am aware that I can handle this and get through it without becoming devastated. I can trust my competence neither to become dramatically overwhelmed nor to be stoically untouched. This sense of competence frees me from fear, since fear thrives on powerlessness. I imagine myself holding my predicament in one hand and my power to work with it in the other. One hand is serenely mindful; one is courageously working. When I hold both realities this way, I am agreeable to things as they are, and I am doing all I can to change them for the better as well.” -D. Richo
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This resonates with me deeply as a parent and the complexities illnesses like eating disorders present to us. Now if only we can collectively and universally have provided the very best in evidence-based, highest standard of quality care of treating eating disorders and supporting families in such a comprehensively and equally accessible manner– that would be my wish!
Our daughter has many “wishes” and dreams she wants to pursue. We simply want to wish her a very Happy Birthday, happy 14th Year, to continued Health and vitality… and to a courageous healthy-stubborn side that can be an anchor for her when difficulties and stress arise. Knowing she can reach out and ask for help, she’s worth every ounce of her hard work on the road to recovery she has traveled thus far, and that we Love her very, very much!
-XOXO Mom*Dad*Big’Sis
This is a day of promise –
Of hopefulness, laughter, and cheer,
For this is a day of remembering
The good things that happened all year –
A day for reflecting on memories
Shared with friends and with family, too,
Who were so much a part
of the joys in your heart
And the love that you felt
all year through-
This is a day of promise
Of the beauty and warmth life can hold,
And of new dreams to dream
and more love to share
Through a year that’s about to unfold.
-Emily Matthews
contre l'anorexie... inform-empower-educate & heal 
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