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“The Disorder Next Door”
April 23, 2008 in Access to ED Care/Treatment, Adolescent Anorexia Nervosa, Adolescent Eating Behaviors, anorexia, Anorexia Nervosa, Behavioral Health, Body Acceptance, Body Image & Writing, Bulimia, Bulimia Nervosa, Carer Support, Carer Support/Healing, COE (Compulsive Over-Eating), Community Health Education, Constructs of Pyschological Distress, Consumer Alert, Culture, Disordered Eating Behaviors, Dr Cynthia Bulik, Dr Margo Paine, Eating Disorder Advocacy, Eating Disorder News, Eating Disorder Research, Eating Disorder Treatment, Eating Disorders, Eating Disorders and Mental Health, Eating Patterns and Weight Related Issues, ED advocacy, ED Hope & Recovery, ED recovery, ED's and the Media, EDNOS, eliminating stigma, Empowered Families, Empowered Parents, Engaged Families, Environmental factores influencing ED's, family, Family & Culture, Family Education/Resources, Family supported ED treatment, Genetic and Environmental causes of ED's, Health, Health & Wellbeing, Imperfect Bodies, Improvement of Psychological and Behavioral Treatments, Mental Health, Parent Activism and Eating Disorders, Parent Support, Personal, Power of the Media & Perception, Public Health, Research and Recovery, Society and Weight Related Issues, Socio-Cultural Factors and Advertising to Promote ED's, Sociocultural Factors in Eating Disorders, thin idealization, women/psychology | Tags: American Consumerism and Dieting, anorexia, Anorexia Nervosa, Body Acceptance, Body Image and the Media, Bulimia, Bulimia Nervosa, Calorie Prisoners, Career Dieters, Carer Support, COE (Compulsive Over-Eating), Community Health Education and Eating Disorders, constructs of psychological distress, Culture/Society and Dieting, Disordered Eaters, Disordered Eating Behaviors, Dr Cynthia Bulik, Dr Diane Mickley, Dr Margo Paine, Eating Disorder News, Eating Disorders, ED News, ED-NOS, environmental factors influencing ED's, Food Addicts, Malnutrition in a Modern World, Media Overkill, Medical News Today, Mental Health, Parent Activism and Eating Disorders, Parent Adovcates and ED's, Parent Support and Eating Disorders, Personal Stories, Power of the Media & Perception, Psychological Harm of Dieting, Public Health and Nutrition, SELF Magazine, Sociocultural Factors in Eating Disorders, University of North Carolina Eating Disorders Program, Women's Health | 5 comments
Tula Karras
When your child is diagnosed with an eating disorder your life changes- permanently. There is no looking back (though you do, and weep and grieve for the child you once knew and still know lies underneath the ED just waiting to find his/her way back– and they do!) there is no denying the obvious even when this illness can completely blindside and throw you off your center until you fully understand and grapple with its complexity– and even then you can still be utterly perplexed.
But you take action, keep your son/daughter safe, provide nutritional sustenance, comfort and support. You find the appropriate medical care, treatment facilities and resources that will help him/her, as well as yourself, find their way back to health, well being and continuing to work towards their full recovery– however that needs to happen- you just do it. We’re parents, Moms&Dads, families, grandparents, cousins, all taking those measures and lending a hand because we love each other and want to see those suffering find their way back to their true selves, living their dreams, passions and finding happiness- not perfection- in what gift of our Lives we have been given. Life is certainly not an easy journey, and growing up, becoming an adult, raising a family, fumbling through difficulties– these are all illuminating lessons to help bring us back to grace and compassion, wisdom and understanding.
Something within my own inner perspective and thinking is having a bit of a snag though. Maybe because I know how damn hard it is to wrestle with an illness our daughter was diagnosed with over a year ago. Knowing how hard she has worked to get to where she is now, how much more persistence and vigilance she will continue to have, especially now that she is fully discharged from the eating disorder program she has been intensely involved with for several months, and facing a culture and society that seems to be ironically having increased insecurities, issues and numbers of individuals (especially within older adult populations) with “disordered eating” patterns and behaviors, which to me on the outside look and behave just like our daughter did prior to her being diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa.
There is this surreal sensation that comes over me when I briefly skim over an article in SELF Magazine that highlights a partnered survey studythat was done in collaboration with Dr Cynthia Bulik and the University of North Carolina that states that “3 out of 4 American Women have disordered eating” and the magazine survey whose participants numbered over 4000, and probably still counting on both the survey, forum and follow up, continue to show an increase in disordered eating patterns and ranges of destructive habits that clearly as Dr Margo Paine boldly states exemplifies, “Dieting is a national pastime for women” and “as a society, we don’t see the problem“.
The survey also goes further into describing additional categories that 6 out of 10 (1 out of 10 have eating disorders) women who are categorized as “disordered eaters” describe themselves into specific subsets:
* Calorie Prisoners
* Secret Eaters
* Career Dieters
* Purgers
* Food Addicts
* Extreme Exercisers
Of course, none of these descriptors are new. But while some studies and stats have been pointing towards an increase of younger individuals being diagnosed with eating disorders, which may indeed be on the rise, though it’s always difficult to know whether we are only getting better at earlier diagnosing and intervention; and if some of the outcry and attention to the issue is creating the continued awareness, discussion, research and treatment standards. But this survey, as some previous others, is showing the age range to be in the adult category of a 25-45 year old female base, and from what I’ve read in some previous studies, this seems to be more consistent and increasing if you are to follow the conclusions.
Yes, I’m perplexed and even angry. I don’t want to see anyone needlessly suffering with any disordered eating behavior(s) that can have even the subtlest of impact upon ones’ health- period. But I also have another irritating irk in thinking about the continued impact these findings, if they are showing continued rises in eating-disordered behavior have upon our youth and young adults who are watching, reading, and taking in this information too. What, if anything does this ultimately translate to and what can be done to counteract this deranged preoccupation with dieting, body-dissatisfaction, and just overkill of the human body? When will the craziness stop just long enough to take a step back, breathe, and find acceptance and compassion for who you are as you are being enough, being worthy– because we all are.
And our kids need us to model and reinforce these strong capabilities and common-sense practicalities. When I see a book titled: My Beautiful Mommy I think this is a joke, right? But I find that it’s written by a plastic surgeon, and really set on promoting this “upkeep” ideal while cunningly proclaiming under a guise of “help”. Are we so far gone into our self-absorbed psyches that we are so easily swayed and coerced into finding this worthy of publication to begin with? Apparently so, as the book is being sold and bought, joke or not– some are taking the bait and seem to be biting hard, though not into much that will keep one nutritionally and mentally stable.
Our daughter has to not only find safety, stability and assurance within her home environment, but the world outside as well. And this rant of a thread I’ve lowered myself to in this post just proves what an apparently obnoxious mother on a mission I am (imperfections and all- silicon free and able to eat minus fear thankfully) to keep my daughter moving towards a healthy, happy and internally sustained recovery and passionately what that means to me.
Ladies and Gentlemen, can this insanity please begin to find it’s way back in the hole from where it came? Like a fire out of control, can we begin to find some means of putting this insatiable flame to some simmering rational end? Will these studies and polls just continue to bloom, boggle and frustrate so many of us, while invoking the opposite within others to think less of themselves, and to possibly court a potential ED, especially for those who are either biologically, physiologically and/or genetically predisposed and vulnerable?
To continued Health, Strength & Insight for us all.
Heavens… Spring IS in the Air!
March 25, 2008 in Access to ED Care/Treatment, Adolescent Anorexia Nervosa, Adolescent Eating Behaviors, anorexia, Anorexia Nervosa, anthologies, Behavioral Health, Body Acceptance, Body Image & Writing, Bulimia, Bulimia Nervosa, Carer Support, COE (Compulsive Over-Eating), Constructs of Pyschological Distress, Culture, Disordered Eating Behaviors, Eating Disorder Advocacy, Eating Disorder Treatment, Eating Disorders, Eating Disorders and Mental Health, Eating Patterns and Weight Related Issues, ED advocacy, ED Hope & Recovery, ED recovery, EDNOS, eliminating stigma, Emotional Healing, Emotional Journeys, Empowered Families, Empowered Parents, Engaged Families, Environmental factores influencing ED's, Erase Stigma of Anorexia, Evidence Based Treatment for Eating Disorders, family, Family & Culture, Family Based Therapy, Family supported ED treatment, Family-Based Therapy and Eating Disorders, Health, Health & Wellbeing, Hope & Recovery for ED's, Improvement of Psychological and Behavioral Treatments, Journal writing and ED, Mental Health, Mythology and Healing, Parent Advocates, Parent Support, Residential ED Treatment Centers, Seasonal Festivals, Self-Care, Symbolic Imagery, Thoughts, Writing & Healing | Tags: Adolescent Anorexia Nervosa, Adolescent Eating Disorders, anorexia, Anorexia Nervosa, Behavioral Health, Body Acceptance, body image, Body Image & Writing, Bulimia, Bulimia Nerovsa, Carer Support and Eating Disorders, Constructs of Pyschological Distress and Anorexia, Disordered Eating Behaviors, Eating Disorder Activism, Eating Disorder Advocacy, Eating Disorder Hope&Recovery, Eating Disorder Treatment, eating disordered, Eating Disorders, Eating Patterns and Weight Related Issues, ED advocacy, ED Hope & Recovery, ED recovery, Emotional Healing and ED's, Emotional Journeys, Empowered Families and Eating Disorders, Empowered Parents and ED's, family, Family Support and Eating Disorders, Family supported ED treatment, Family-Based Therapy and Eating Disorders, Fesitvals and Ritual/Culture, Health, Health & Wellbeing, Life, Mental Health, Personal Empowerment and ED Recovery, Personal Stories, Recovery, Sacred festivals | 7 comments
This month is such a busy month… I’m very blessed and so very happy that I’ve sold two paintings (not current work, but nonetheless- yeah!) and it was a carefree act on my end, thinking nothing would move someone to be so compelled for work that honestly doesn’t resonate for me personally right now– but all good!
Easter was nice, we are a culturally diverse family (hubby from India) so we partake in other various festivals and events, Holi (see above) being one this month too– my birthday is coming up (not telling how many candles- tsk!) and having our daughter home from residential after nearly three months of treatment is no light lot.
I love spring! New green shoots pushing forth from the ground– and the snow is finally melting here- yippee! New life, new beginnings… change.
And while our daughter is definitely on her road to recovery, this is not a easy road for her to travel– she still needs lots of love, encouragement and support. She is also quite young, so the decision to “just do it” and fully connect both physically and intellectually to what has taken place over the past year is not all there for her to wade through and have immediate light-bulb moments and decide that today is the day she knows ED is behind her- for good. She herself has openly admitted she “is not ready” to say ado to her tango with ED– not yet.
She has however been slowly “emptying” and “letting go” of ED– one day at a time. A deep breath in and a very long exhale out…
“What will become of me if I let go of my eating disorder?”
“How many times have you tried to let go by hanging on?”
It doesn’t work… and it doesn’t happen all at once. One day, one step, one mouthful at a time.
Our daughter did something incredibly powerful a few weeks back. She wrote a “good-bye” letter to ED and she opened herself up to share this moving note:
ED,
I need to leave you. You have made me do some relapses and only made me think about shapes, sizes or weights. I feel really bad for leaving you but it’s the only way I can stay on the path of recovery and be able to achieve my goals in life. I will miss you a lot.
You have helped clear my feeling of stress out and do something that makes me feel comfortable (restrict). You have really hurt me. My friends and family have been here supporting me, and it seems that you want to shove my parents away. You also have not made me be able to hang out with my friends and then just isolate.
ED, I plan to take care of myself and to listen to myself more than YOU. I plan to become a ballet dancer and veterinarian, and enjoy my life and live my dreams. You may come back to me when I look into the mirror but I won’t let you take my passions away.
Good-bye ED-
Indeed. With the snow continuing to melt, the extended light of the days and the darkness of winter slowly turning more and more towards spring, I feel a renewed sense of Hope and Strength for our daughter’s continued striving forward towards full health, full Life. There will be days, as there already are, that will challenge and the proverbial two steps forward, three-five steps back… but she’ll get there and we’re all right there behind her cheering her on!
Happy Spring- Happy Holi-Hai!
: Eclipse Solaire :
February 21, 2008 in anorexia, Anorexia Nervosa, anthologies, Behavioral Health, Body Acceptance, Body Image & Writing, Books, Bulimia, Bulimia Nervosa, Carer Support, COE (Compulsive Over-Eating), Community Health Education, Disordered Eating Behaviors, Dr Anita Johnston, Eating by the Light of the Moon, Eating Disorder Advocacy, Eating Disorder Treatment, Eating Disorders, Eating Patterns and Weight Related Issues, ED advocacy, ED Hope & Recovery, Empowered Families, Empowered Parents, family, Family Education/Resources, Health, Health Care, Improvement of Psychological and Behavioral Treatments, Lunar Eclipse, Mental Health, Mythology and Healing, Parent Advocates, Personal Empowerment, Personal Narratives, Phases of the Moon, Psychology & Counseling, Psychology and Myth, Public Health and Nutrition, Relationships, Self-Care, Self-Help Narratives, Stories that Heal, Women & Writing, Women and ED, women/psychology, Writing & Healing | Tags: anorexia, Anorexia Nervosa, Behavioral Health, Body Acceptance, Books, Bulimia, Bulimia Nerovsa, Carer Support, Dr Anita Johnston, Earth Cycles, Eating by the Light of the Moon, Eating Disorders, Eating Patterns and Weight Related Issues, ED advocacy, ED Awareness, Empowered Parents, family, Family Support for Eating Disorders, Food, Health & Wellbeing, Life, Lunar Eclipse, Mental Health, Mindful Eating, Mythology for Healing, Nutrition, Phases of the Moon, Psychology & Counseling, Psychology and Myth, Recovery, Self-Acceptance, self-awareness, Self-Care, Self-Healing, self-help, Stories that Heal, Support for Eating Disorders, Writing&Healing | 2 comments
I find Eating By The Light Of The Moon to be a fitting thought for the day…
Your body is precious.
It is your vehicle for awakening,
treat it with care.
-BUDDHA
‘Excavation of Memories’
January 26, 2008 in Adolescent Eating Behaviors, Anorexia Nervosa, anthologies, Body Acceptance, Body Image & Writing, Bulimia Nervosa, contemporary non-fiction, Culture, Eating Disorders, ED Hope & Recovery, ED recovery, Empowered Families, Essays, Health, Health & Wellbeing, Imperfect Bodies, Journal writing and ED, Life, Linguistics, Mental Health, Mother/Daughter Relationships, non-fiction memoirs, Parent, Parent Support, Personal Empowerment, Personal Stories, Poetry/Literature, Relationships, short stories, Society, thin idealization, Victoria Zackheim, Women & Writing, women/psychology | Tags: aging, Anorexia Nervosa, anthologies, Body Image & Writing, Body Language, body relationships, Bulima Nervosa, contemporary non-fiction, coping, Culture, eating disordered, eating disorders & the power of words, ED, ED recovery, empowerment, Essays, For Keeps, Life, Mental Health, non-fiction memoirs, Parent Support, Poety/Literature, self, Self-Acceptance, self-help, Society, thin idealization, Victoria Zackheim, Women & Writing, women/psychology | Leave a comment
Some reviews have been posted for Victoria Zackheim’s new anthology For Keeps: Women Tell the Truth About Their Bodies, Growing Older and Acceptance worth taking a look at as well and reading her latest work.
Words and our collective voices have the power to heal. Of course that task is not so straight forward in ED recovery of our children, but they too need to find their way back to their true Selves pre/post-ED; get beyond the entrenched self-loathing, negative self-talk perpetuated by malnutrition and rigid/ritualized behaviors. And through regaining their health, with continued love and support, they begin to slowly find their own sense of strength, determination, self-acceptance and healing.
Zackheim’s collection of essays is especially meaningful for mothers and daughters, reconnecting to one another and finding joy vs abhorrence through our stages of Life and change, which society and our culture still seem hellbent on perpetuating unrealistic ideals.
Parents need to maintain a sense of themselves, separate through their child’s recovery from an eating disorder. They need to take time for themselves, self-care/self-love, and for one another, as a family with other siblings, and within a marriage, relationship. It’s important to find others who support and comfort you through your child’s illness, and other parents who share your struggle are absolutely invaluable in helping one another which culminates its own collective of powerful and healing stories.
Shanti-
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