: Tending and Befriending-Let the Cup Overflow :

 

It’s a day filled with LOVE– 

Voltaire wrote:  Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination which is such an eloquent phrase, and so affecting to me having a daughter who is courageously challenging her anorexia- and winning back (embroidering)  her true self each day.  

Those of us with a child, family member, and/or friend who are suffering with an eating disorder know we have to be both Head & Heart for our loved ones;  it’s a duality that few seem to have the discernment and wisdom to forewarn us about on this journey to wholeness and health.   Most in the medical community still keep us at arms-length when it comes to offering up the most humane, balanced and adequately researched strategies to implement within supporting our loved ones that emphasize such an expanded “imagination” or creativity that not only empowers the sufferer, but works towards healing the entire family/support network of the sufferer- metaphorically this would require the most sophisticated embroidery needle and elevated imagination that can stitch a warm, comforting Love quilt for anyone to find shelter, solace, comfort and wisdom (and most likely made with fleece).

I also think it’s imperative, absolutely crucial to Love thyself unconditionally, and that dear friends, includes the parents, the extended family members, friends, etc.- your entire collective clan, blood-linked and other surrogate compassionate souls- Tending & Befriending– embracing life as it stands, even making peace with pain, uncertainty and discomfort; all of which we most certainly are no stranger to.

So on this Valentine’s Day I wish for all of you to embrace yourselves, your loved ones with the deepest sense of honor, open-heartedness, self-acceptance and Love–

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your

                                         love and affection.”

                                                    -Buddha

Joyeuse Saint-Valentin!

                              

                                      

              

                                      

                                   

Impetus for FBT in Treatment of Adolescent Anorexia Continues

It’s encouraging to know that some incredible clinicians are furthering the research and support of the efficacy of Family-Based Therapy within treatment of adolescents who suffer from eating disorders. 

As parents of eating disordered children we know how painful it is to watch our children succumb to this deadly disease.  And what makes things even worse is not having treatment incorporate the entire family to best help, educate, empower and support not only our loved ones, but ourselves as well; and also to help heal and guide the family through the journey we take on the road towards our child achieving full recovery.

Dr Walter Kaye with the University of California, San Diego is heading probably one of the largest research studies jointly with Stanford School of Medicine to find the most effective FBT, BFT, and placebo controlled trials including more studies into the use and efficacy of fluoxetine (Prozac) in the treatment of adolescents who suffer from Anorexia Nervosa.

Dr Kaye is certainly not the only clinician to take the lead in pioneering this momentum, Dr Daniel leGrange from the University of Chicago, Eating Disorders Program also has conducted a 5yr NIMH study of similar worth, and at this time the data that has been collected is being sent for publication.

Too many today still adhere to a very outdated, erroneous and unproductive notion that dysfunctional families/parents are the sole cause of eating disorders.  Yes, this is the 21st century, and when our daughter was diagnosed with AN last year, not only were we carrying very limited Karen Carpenter knowledge of ED’s, but to our complete shock and dismay,  the hospital where our daughter spent the next 20days- along with the next year of hit&miss follow-up outpatient treatment- had Dr’s, nurses and staff who seemed to be practicing a very draconian and almost at times inhumane form of ED treatment/care with even less experience and knowledge, and horrifyingly no real training and background in ED’s, and how to help sufferers and their families/carers beyond the basic “medical stabalization”.  I never would have imagined through our experience, how backwards and utterly frustrating this road to finding quality, intelligent, evidenced-based and compassionate care would be.

So there is continued reasons to be hopeful and remain optimistic that at some point ED treatment and standards of care will indeed get better, and our voices will be heard, blame will take a vaporizing exit, and efforts and focus will stay centered towards much more rational, ethical, affordable, and compassionate care for ED’s.

When Silence is Deadly

Extremely tragic news of a mother who “believed there was no hope” for her daughter who was suffering from anorexia and depression, which ironically she herself began battling around the same age- but seemed to be particularly well hidden from the rest of the family’s awareness– ends in the death of a promising young life.

This heartwrenching loss brings to mind many who struggle in silence and isolation, but what few still come to terms with is that this illness can indeed take lives not fully lived, and at any age.

Families, parents, and sufferers affected by disordered eating and self-starvation need and deserve compassion, effective treatment, and ongoing support.  Public awareness, insurance coverage and access to quality care, along with early intervention are still what we all need to keep pushing for so that HOPE becomes reality; and lives can be restored. 

Why Family Meals Matter

Most of us realize how vitally important our meals with our loved ones are when they are suffeing from an eating disorder, and that they are not always an easy affair, especially when the eating disorder is unbearably strong and entrenched while healing through recovery.  

Those ‘family meals’ are also jeopardized by rushed schedules, overworked and exhausted parents, and seemingly less and less of those maintained moments when we can gather together, even with the simplest but nutritious of food prepartions to share, rekindle and reconnect. 

Food sustains us and nourishes us in so many ways- and as Laura Collins always reminds us: FOOD IS MEDICINE- distinctly so when your child suffers from an eating disorder.

Recently Dr Dianne Neumark-Sztainer from the University of Minnesota co-authored a longitudinal study on “the potential role of family meals as a protective factor against disorderd eating behaviors“ which may be the first published investigation of its kind examining the benefits and implications of family meals from their ongoing (love this) Project EAT  research study.

I think this is empowering news since there are still lingering and erroneous views that parents, and even worse, that the sufferer are to blame or caused the eating disorder.  Studies such as these also provide additional support and consideration into looking more closely at the benefits of Family-Based or Maudsley Method treatments for eating disorders and realign what we all know intuively heals a malnourished body and mind.

Upon the upcoming One Year Mark…

Since our daughter was diagnosed with anorexia almost a year ago this month, I wanted to start to put together, however chaotically at the moment, a journal of our experiences and share them in some manner that can add to the collective of additional perspectives, up to date evidence-based research/data within ED’s; and their effects upon the family, treatment strategies, and improved follow up care towards the goal of full recovery with the least amount of debilitating relaspe, IP/residential and/or hospitalization..  

More importantly, I feel parents can be a locus of change for the medical community, insurance companies, and also a significant support network for eachother.  And that fighting this devastating illness does not have to sentence parents, or the sufferers to a path of isolation, shame, or guilt since many treatment standards, clinicians, and society as a whole still have several outdated and erroneous stereotypes and practices that are impeding continued progress forward.

I do also think there are several reasons, as well as clinicians (though still too few practicing in this field and easily accessible) to keep hope alive and remain optimistic (as hard as that can indeed be at times) that recovery is possible, and that parents should feel empowered to take an active and loving role in their child’s recovery process. 

Shanti-  T.Mere