You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Mental Health’ category.

 

While I’m playing with WP Themes -my creative side itches- I’ve been curious what other parents and those who have found their path towards healing, recovery and well being from their eating disorder find gives them greatest support and sustains them throughout? At your most difficult times, what has buoyed and held you steady, lifted you up and got you through (like my friend Ganesha up there)? 

Do you wish some things could have been done better in hindsight, wished clinicians, treatment providers, community resources, insurance, etc. could have known perhaps more than you, practicing with up-to-date, evidenced-based research and data vs rehashing false and painful stereotypes that can keep a family from getting the best care possible? And that  everyone worked more as a cohesive whole vs fragmented, inconsistent, and leaving too many gaps for uncertainty and misunderstanding– or worse barely any informative communication or basic follow up to keep focus on the best methods towards recovery and support?

And if you were/are a parent(s), caregivers, extended-family, siblings do you wish there would have been services that encompassed and included the entire family, and not just for weekly family therapy sessions, the once a month “Family & Friends” events held at treatment centers.  But further additional healing and supportive measures like what is comprised in most respite centers/facilities and typically standard for family members when a child has cancer, or any other major life-threatening illness. 

All of us know that ED’s are potentially life-threatening if proper treatment and nutritional support are not addressed, and the sooner diagnosis is made and intelligent, comprehensive action taken, the better the chances recovery can be, and less relapsing and monumental expenses for the revolving door of IP, OP, residential, IOP, etc. care.

Being a parent of an adolescent with an ED, there are unique aspects to what parents and family members need, your life and “time” seem to come to complete stops and starts depending on where the progression of the illness may be, how many extra hands there are to pitch in when you need time to take care of yourself, take care of other siblings, reconnect with spouses, get some perspective, and to keep centered and strong. 

If I were to draw a graph of how our family has progressed through our daughter’s illness, it would have some deep dips and high escalations, and many dotted straight lines– but not always clearly defined and consistent (thinking about this makes me want to create just such a map/graph!)  Sometimes things seem to just “click” and things move forward without much ado; but there are other times when it seems the cyclone of ED can just demolish the very health and Life of an entire household, leaving pulverized rubble and ruin that needs the utmost and gentlest of care and compassion– those are the moments when all your resources get pulled together and you roll up your sleeves and get down to business– you take action and you may find setbacks galore, but you also find incredible inner resilience, Hope, courage and more Love than you ever realized was always there. 

Moments like these can also be some of the most magnificent and humbling of points within our human experience …

 I feel a deep human need to collectively share these experiences, swap stories- like sharing a recipe!- connect with others who “get it” and aren’t going to be dismissive, discourteous, judgmental or even worse, think I’m a bit over-the-top… off my rocker… box ‘o crack ‘o jack, etc. 

And I think if it weren’t for the Internet of collective voices, fellow parental-comraderie and individuals such as an incredible Mom who hosts a forum for parents to find one another, along with so many of you whom I’ve met virtual-via email, your websites/blogs, etc. and found such amazing insight and resolve into this illness– I do feel I would have felt much more isolated and possibly a bit more despairing (I say a bit since my Finnish ancestry is laced with “SISU” = strength… so this would not have lasted long) but it also points to the reality of the importance to support and encourage one another through the recovery and healing process within eating disorders.  To make certain adequate treatment is delivered, proper support and resources are available in all demographics. 

Change is still quite snail-paced within ED’s, so I think our collective voices and efforts however big or small DO matter and make a difference.

Now if only I could get some of the ladoos (Indian sweet) that Ganesha is holding… my rant would be complete.

-shanti

 

 

Howard S. Hoffman

 

                    We tend to see only what we are prepared to comprehend.

                                         Howard S. Hoffman …On Life

 

Tula Karras

 

When your child is diagnosed with an eating disorder your life changes- permanently.  There is no looking back (though you do, and weep and grieve for the child you once knew and still know lies underneath the ED just waiting to find his/her way back– and they do!) there is no denying the obvious even when this illness can completely blindside and throw you off your center until you fully understand and grapple with its complexity– and even then you can still be utterly perplexed. 

But you take action, keep your son/daughter safe, provide nutritional sustenance, comfort and support.  You find the appropriate medical care, treatment facilities and resources that will help him/her, as well as yourself,  find their way back to health, well being and continuing to work towards their full recovery– however that needs to happen- you just do it.  We’re parents, Moms&Dads, families, grandparents, cousins, all taking those measures and lending a hand because we love each other and want to see those suffering find their way back to their true selves, living their dreams, passions and finding happiness- not perfection- in what gift of our Lives we have been given.  Life is certainly not an easy journey, and growing up, becoming an adult, raising a family, fumbling through difficulties– these are all illuminating lessons to help bring us back to grace and compassion, wisdom and understanding.

Something within my own inner perspective and thinking is having a bit of a snag though.  Maybe because I know how damn hard it is to wrestle with an illness our daughter was diagnosed with over a year ago.  Knowing how hard she has worked to get to where she is now, how much more persistence and vigilance she will continue to have, especially now that she is fully discharged from the eating disorder program she has been intensely involved with for several months, and facing a culture and society that seems to be ironically having increased insecurities, issues and numbers of individuals (especially within older adult populations) with “disordered eating” patterns and behaviors, which to me on the outside look and behave just like our daughter did prior to her being diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. 

There is this surreal sensation that comes over me when I briefly skim over an article in SELF Magazine that highlights a partnered survey studythat was done in collaboration with Dr Cynthia Bulik and the University of North Carolina that states that “3 out of 4 American Women have disordered eating” and the magazine survey whose participants numbered over 4000, and probably still counting on both the survey, forum and follow up, continue to show an increase in disordered eating patterns and ranges of destructive habits that clearly as Dr Margo Paine boldly states exemplifies, “Dieting is a national pastime for women” and “as a society, we don’t see the problem“.

The survey also goes further into describing additional categories that 6 out of 10 (1 out of 10 have eating disorders) women who are categorized as “disordered eaters” describe themselves into specific subsets:

 

* Calorie Prisoners

* Secret Eaters

* Career Dieters

* Purgers

* Food Addicts

* Extreme Exercisers

 

Of course, none of these descriptors are new.  But while some studies and stats have been pointing towards an increase of younger individuals being diagnosed with eating disorders, which may indeed be on the rise, though it’s always difficult to know whether we are only getting better at earlier diagnosing and intervention; and if some of the outcry and attention to the issue is creating the continued awareness, discussion, research and treatment standards.  But this survey, as some previous others, is showing the age range to be in the adult category of a 25-45 year old female base, and from what I’ve read in some previous studies, this seems to be more consistent and increasing if you are to follow the conclusions.

Yes, I’m perplexed and even angry.  I don’t want to see anyone needlessly suffering with any disordered eating behavior(s) that can have even the subtlest of impact upon ones’ health- period.  But I also have another irritating irk in thinking about the continued impact these findings, if they are showing continued rises in eating-disordered behavior have upon our youth and young adults who are watching, reading, and taking in this information too.  What, if anything does this ultimately translate to and what can be done to counteract this deranged preoccupation with dieting, body-dissatisfaction, and just overkill of the human body? When will the craziness stop just long enough to take a step back, breathe, and find acceptance and compassion for who you are as you are being enough, being worthy– because we all are.

And our kids need us to model and reinforce these strong capabilities and common-sense practicalities.  When I see a book titled: My Beautiful Mommy I think this is a joke, right? But I find that it’s written by a plastic surgeon, and really set on promoting this “upkeep” ideal while cunningly proclaiming under a guise of “help”.  Are we so far gone into our self-absorbed psyches that we are so easily swayed and coerced into finding this worthy of publication to begin with? Apparently so, as the book is being sold and bought, joke or not– some are taking the bait and seem to be biting hard, though not into much that will keep one nutritionally and mentally stable.

Our daughter has to not only find safety, stability and assurance within her home environment, but the world outside as well.  And this rant of a thread I’ve lowered myself to in this post just proves what an apparently obnoxious mother on a mission I am (imperfections and all- silicon free and able to eat minus fear thankfully) to keep my daughter moving towards a healthy, happy and internally sustained recovery and passionately what that means to me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, can this insanity please begin to find it’s way back in the hole from where it came?  Like a fire out of control, can we begin to find some means of putting this insatiable flame to some simmering rational end? Will these studies and polls just continue to bloom, boggle and frustrate so many of us, while invoking the opposite within others to think less of themselves, and to possibly court a potential ED, especially for those who are either biologically, physiologically and/or genetically predisposed and vulnerable?

To continued Health, Strength & Insight for us all.

Kar Men Shreshth Kamandalu Chakra Trishoodlharta

Jagkarta Jagkarta Jag Palankarta

    Om hara hara Mahaadevaa

APF/Getty Images  Bertrand Guay

There is quite a bit of debate heating up lately, even over at ATDT parents are sharing their thoughts on this topic, regarding recent legistlation created by France lawmaker Valerie Boyer that France is passing towards imposing strict fines, even imprisonment against the proliferation and promotion of “pro-ana/mia” within websites, media images, the fashion industry and beyond that continue to hightlight clearly unhealthy anorexic/ED’d-looking, emaciated ultra-thin bodies– “legislating body weight” some are finger-waging. 

The reviews and feedback are certainly mixed, some downright misinformedstiil -and so sorely one-sided which to me only illuminates just how complex these issues are; and more importantly  how much more of this conversation and dialogue needs to keep happening and developing.

I haven’t delved into a full exploration of my opinions on this yet, but I do think while we can’t police every site, ban every image, twisted ideal there certainly is something that we are all responding and reacting to when we see someone who looks so severely malnourished, skeletal and unwell. 

As a mother of a daughter who suffers from Anorexia Nerovsa I do have an immediate heartwrenching reaction to this issue, and do believe there is not just a “personal” responsiblity but public and social conscience we all need to be connected to and address at some basic level without turning a blind-eye and pretending none of this has any impact on society whatsoever– clearly it does.

         

 

Some incredible individuals and parent advocates have been hard at work the past two days in Washington working with legislators on Capital Hill for the annual Eating Disorders Coalition Lobby Day to push forth further measures and legislation in the continuation to further progress within treatment, research, prevention and education of eating disorders. 

This is vital and necessary work.  I for one am so very grateful, since I was not able to attend, for all of these individuals who have committed themselves towards improving the lives of those affected by this devastating illness and the families that are doing so much of this work solo, without much support, treatment resources, and clinicians adequately trained to best help their loves ones. 

Thank you EDC and its sponsors, Ms Laura Collins— you are the best!

 

 

Oh yeah! May 9th (or from what others have been stating but I haven’t found listed: April 25th) heading to the ‘Windy City’- Chicago to check out this city’s native film-maker,  Darryl Roberts documentary that has gotten plenty of accolades; and additional kudos from those who attended last week’s IAEDP conference.

It’s interesting that within the past year two male film-makers  (perhaps more– feel free to share if you know) the other is Glenn Gers and his film: Disfigured  (which a Cali friend of mine got to see during the film festival and loved)  have dared to dig deeper into our culture’s preoccupations within this topic– I say it’s bloody fantastic and about time!

Join the caravan if you are able.

ciao-

virtaka

 

Facing the bluntness of reality is the highest form of

sanity and enlightened vision… Devotion proceeds

through various stages of unmasking until we reach

the point of seeing the world directly and simply

without imposing our fabrications… There may

be a sense of being lost or exposed, a sense of vulnerability.

That is simply a sign that ego is losing its grip

on its territory; it is not a threat.

 

-Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

holi

This month is such a busy month… I’m very blessed and so very happy that I’ve sold two paintings (not current work, but nonetheless- yeah!) and it was a carefree act on my end, thinking nothing would move someone to be so compelled for work that honestly doesn’t resonate for me personally right now– but all good!

Easter was nice, we are a culturally diverse family (hubby from India) so we partake in other various festivals and events, Holi (see above) being one this month too– my birthday is coming up (not telling how many candles- tsk!) and having our daughter home from residential after nearly three months of treatment is no light lot.

I love spring! New green shoots pushing forth from the ground– and the snow is finally melting here- yippee! New life, new beginnings… change.

And while our daughter is definitely on her road to recovery, this is not a easy road for her to travel– she still needs lots of love, encouragement and support.  She is also quite young, so the decision to “just do it” and fully connect both physically and intellectually to what has taken place over the past year is not all there for her to wade through and have immediate light-bulb moments and decide that today is the day she knows ED is behind her- for good.  She herself has openly admitted she “is not ready” to say ado to her tango with ED– not yet.

She has however been slowly “emptying” and “letting go” of ED– one day at a time.  A deep breath in and a very long exhale out…

“What will become of me if I let go of my eating disorder?”

“How many times have you tried to let go by hanging on?”

It doesn’t work…  and it doesn’t happen all at once.  One day, one step, one mouthful at a time.

Our daughter did something incredibly powerful a few weeks back.  She wrote a “good-bye” letter to ED and she opened herself up to share this moving note:

         ED,

      I need to leave you.  You have made me do some relapses and only made me think about shapes, sizes or weights.  I feel really bad for leaving you but it’s the only way I can stay on the path of recovery and be able to achieve my goals in life.  I will miss you a lot. 

You have helped clear my feeling of stress out and do something that makes me feel comfortable (restrict).  You have really hurt me.  My friends and family have been here supporting me, and it seems that you want to shove my parents away.  You also have not made me be able to hang out with my friends and then just isolate. 

ED, I plan to take care of myself and to listen to myself more than YOU.  I plan to become a ballet dancer and veterinarian, and enjoy my life and live my dreams.  You may come back to me when I look into the mirror but I won’t let you take my passions away.

                        Good-bye ED-

Indeed.  With the snow continuing to melt, the extended light of the days and the darkness of winter slowly turning more and more towards spring, I feel a renewed sense of Hope and Strength for our daughter’s continued striving forward towards full health, full Life.  There will be days, as there already are, that will challenge and the proverbial two steps forward, three-five steps back… but she’ll get there and we’re all right there behind her cheering her on!

Happy Spring- Happy Holi-Hai!

 

Maha Shivaratri

After weekend celebrations of ‘The Night of Lord Shiva’ at this time of Year, I’m thankfully reminded just how amazing and beautiful Life truly is…

“Om tatpurushaya vidmahe

Mahadevaya dhimahi

Tanno rudran prachodayat”

With Peace & Prosperity-

            May Siva Ratri bring Hope & Blessings to All!

Om Namah Shivaya-

End Health Discrimination
Vote

RSS EDDigest

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.

Access to Mental Health Care/Eating Disorders Adolescent Anorexia Nervosa Adolescent Anorexia Nervosa and Family-Based Therapy Adolescent Eating Disorders and Recovery Stories anorexia Anorexia Nervosa Behavioral Health blog Body Acceptance body image Books Bulima Nervosa Bulimia Bulimia Nervosa Carer Support Carer Support and Eating Disorders COE (Compulsive Over-Eating) cognitive processing and Eating Disorders Community Health Education Culture Disordered Eating Behaviors Dr Cynthia Bulik Eating Disorder Advocacy eating disordered Eating Disorder Hope & Recovery Eating Disorder News Eating Disorder Recovery Eating Disorder Recovery/Support Eating Disorder Research Eating Disorders Eating Disorder Treatment ED-NOS ED advocacy EDNOS ED recovery Empowered Families Empowered Parents Empowered Parents/Families Engaged Families and Eating Disorder Treatment/Recovery environmental factors influencing ED's Evidence Based Treatment for Eating Disorders family Family & Culture Family Based Therapy Family Life & ED Recovery Family Meals Family Supported ED Recovery Family supported ED treatment Family Supported ED Treatment/Recovery Health Health & Wellbeing Health Care Life Love Love Your Body Mental Health Mental Health Parity/Policies musings news Parent Activism and Eating Disorders Parent Support and Eating Disorders Parent Support and ED's Personal Personal Empowerment Personal Narratives Personal Stories Poetry Psychology Public Health and Nutrition Recovery Science self-help Society Sociocultural Factors in Eating Disorders Thoughts
Blog Awards Winner
Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Blog Stats

  • 65,375 hits