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Outside of the word ‘Ma’am’ there is another word — the ‘F-A-T’ word that I despise quite vehemently… it’s been refreshing to be rid of at least one of those words this week!
Men say the world is full of fear and hate,
And all life’s ripening harvest-fields await
The restless sickle of relentless fate.
But I, sweet Soul, rejoice that I was born,
When from the climbing terraces of corn
I watch the golden orioles of Thy morn.
What care I for the world’s desire and pride,
Who know the silver wings that gleam and glide,
The homing pigeons of Thine eventide?
What care I for the world’s loud weariness,
Who dream in twilight granaries
Thou dost bless
With delicate sheaves of mellow silences?
Say, shall I heed dull presages of doom,
Or dread the rumoured loneliness and gloom,
The mute and mythic terror of the tomb?
For my glad heart is drunk and drenched with Thee,
O inmost wind of living ecstasy!
O intimate essence of eternity!
-Sarojini Naidu
~~ Summer is in full-swing and we are finally escaping for a long overdue respite. Destined long nights, mythical and ancient sites… meditating on cliffs, dusting off the lens and capturing images that provoke and provide aesthetic sustenance. Lingering and contemplative hikes up temple steps that have been etched by devotees feet countless times before– who are we but humble and gracious guests- not the arrogant and time-constrained forceful tourist.
Foraging in sacred forests with gamelons playing in the distance, and dancing deities battling the age-old epic between black&white-good&evil ending with the balance of Life, once again, restored. Then taking what was digested of the day to a lamp lit night to write, write, write. Littering my splattered journal with poetic meanderings that have waited, sometimes it seems far too long, for a time such as this.
Life has certainly been blessed and full of positive changes lately! Our daughter has courageously turned the tables on Anorexia within the past couple of months, and is enjoying a summer filled without “fear“, vibrant, healthy and triumphant in this very moment– we are so extremely proud of her!
Thank you so very much to all of you who are a constant source of human wisdom, compassion and many who have also lent a comforting shoulder to lean on. Along with the ever gracious comrades who work with me tirelessly towards creating our monthly “healing&creative space”– which will return once again late this fall; I really don’t have enough words to do justice in this meager post to give adequate appreciation.
I am deeply grateful for the small patch of ground we continually attempt to uncover to help support those with eating disorders and their families, partners and loved ones. I hope to continue to dig a deeper and wider-reaching network that will eventually have an even greater substantial and purposeful base of resources, along with caring, intelligent and genuine individuals to be of greater service for those who continue to suffer. Patience, time and perserverance– many of us know all too well the meaning of those words, but they truly do remain at the forefront of what long-term recovery entails well after weight-nutritional restoration has been established.
As always, many additional thanks to those who continue to be of support, who listen, read the blog and email, and have allowed me this welcoming space to share our family’s Journey to Recovery– much deep love.
Wishing everyone a relaxing, peaceful and enjoyable summer! See all of you when the leaves begin to crinkle and the crispness of fall begins to fill the air.~~
An interesting study…
This study shows that serum brain-derived neurotophic factor (BDNF) is significantly lower in women with anorexia nervosa (AN) compared with women without an eating disorder and women recovered from AN. While recovery from AN is difficult to define, BDNF may emerge as a useful biomarker of AN and of recovery from AN.
Finding biomarkers for AN and recovery from AN can help improve diagnostic accuracy and help better identify individuals who have recovered from AN. BDNF polymorphisms have not only previously been associated with AN {1}, but the BDNF-specific receptor neurotrophic tyrosine kinase receptor type 2 has also been associated with temperament characteristics and low BMI in individuals with eating disorders {2}. The current study evaluated serum BDNF levels in women with AN (n=29), women without an eating disorder (n=28) and women recovered from AN for 1 or more years (n=18). In addition, set-shifting ability was also evaluated in all 3 groups using the Wisconsin Card Sorting Task (WCST). Age was similar among all three groups, and women with AN and recovered women did not differ in lowest lifetime BMI. Women with AN had lower serum BDNF than controls and recovered women. Overall, there was a positive association between BDNF and BMI. BDNF was inversely correlated with the eating concerns, shape concerns, weight concerns, and global scale on the Eating Disorder Examination Questionnaire and on the depression and anxiety sections of the Hospital Anxiety and Depression Scale. Women with AN made more mistakes on the WCST than control women, but BDNF level was not associated with performance on the WCST. Set-shifting was not impaired in individuals recovered from AN. The current study excluded healthy control women with a BMI below 19 or over 26 thereby excluding constitutionally thin and obese women. It is plausible that BDNF is related more to BMI or the starvation state than to AN per se. However, the relationship between BDNF and BMI is unclear as the results from one study indicate lower levels of BDNF in morbidly obese individuals compared with obese individuals {3}. Including constitutionally lean and obese women in future studies may help clarify the relationship among BDNF, BMI, and AN. BDNF may be a useful biomarker in the underweight AN state and in indexing recovery from AN. However, it is important to first ensure that BDNF is in fact associated with AN and not strictly BMI or other indices of starvation.
References: {1} Ribases et al. Mol Psychiatry 2003, 8:745-51 ]. {2} Ribases et al. Mol Psychiatry 2005, 10:851-60 ]. {3} Bullo et al. Eur J Endocrinol 2007, 157:303-10 ].
Each star a rung,night comes down the spiralstaircase of the evening.
The breeze passes by so very close
as if someone just happened to speak of love.
In the courtyard,the trees are absorbed
refugees embroidering maps of return on the sky.
On the roof,the moon – lovingly, generously -is turning the stars into a dust of sheen.
From every corner, dark-green shadows,in ripples, come towards me.
At any moment they may break over me,
like the waves of pain each time I remember this separation from my lover.
This thought keeps consoling me:
though tyrants may command that lamps be smashed
in rooms where lovers are destined to meet,
they cannot snuff out the moon,
so today,nor tomorrow, no tyranny will succeed,
no poison of torture make me bitter,
if just one evening in prison
can be so strangely sweet,
if just one moment anywhere on this earth.
-Faiz Ahmed Faiz
We know you always deal with your illness with such courage,
but we still wanted to send you a few hugs,
along with rays of sunshine, big smiles,
and a whole roomful of good thoughts!
So think of these words as a beautiful sunset all your own
and the sound of the ocean gently washing the shore…
Let our thoughts wrap you up in warmth and peace
and sit at your side.
So as you imagine yourself in the midst of these things,
remember how many people care about you and are
wishing you comfort and Love.
-Mary Miro
*Lots&Lots of LOVE to You Today and Everyday! — Mom*Dad*Sis*
When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.
-Pema Chodron
* A Very Blessed and Happy Mother’s Day! *
The world’s favorite season is the spring.
All things seem possible in May.
-Edwin Way Teale
__________________
Is it really May, already?
Life has been good… definitely busy, but equally good!
The frenzy of prepping for gallery openings along with late nights doing my own work at the studio, holding support groups combined with some Yoga&Massage on the side has been quite the balancing act to say the least.
The end of the school year countdown has begun by our daughter, who has been finding recovery balances, challenges, and triumphs, mingled in with the excitement and plans for what she’ll be wearing and planning for graduation along with pre-summer preparations– Life is good!
And daily I try to make time to reflect on how grateful and blessed I am for my family, dear friends and acquaintances on this journey of Life- merci!
The air is like a butterfly
With frail blue wings.
The happy earth looks at the sky
And sings.
-Joyce Kilmer
The National Eating Disorders Association-NEDA has issued a Call for Proposals for the September ‘09 Conference sagaciously titled: Reshaping Our Future: A Vision for Recovery, Research, Attitudes and Action!
The goals of this conference are:
- Help family members, treatment professionals, health educators and activists to connect and share useful and supportive information that can be transformed into action.
- Familiarize attendees with the latest developments in the field of eating disorders and the implications of this new knowledge for prevention and treatment.
- Reduce the associated stigma of eating disorders and generate awareness about the realities of the illnesses by educating conference attendees, the media and, in turn, the general public, policymakers and opinion leaders.
- Provide a national convening to promote inclusiveness, enthusiasm, energy, optimism and a vision of hope for all conference attendees.
Workshop presenters can have a focus within the areas of family, treatment, special issues, outreach and education. The conference will be held in Minneapolis, Minnesota September 10-12th, and the deadline for conference committee consideration on submissions is Wednesday, March 25th.
For further information contact Director of Programs-Laurie Vanderbloom info@nationaleatingdisorders.org – (206)382.3587.
… but we’ll happily settle.
When he speaks,
The air, a chartered libertine, is still.
Henry V, 1.1
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