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Of all the quibbles that may carry on in these modern days of Thanks&Giving surely we can find the time to reflect a bit deeper and capture renewed meaning this Thanksgiving Day.
-Wishing all a Very Blessed and Happy Thanksgiving!
_____________________
For, after all,
put it as we may to ourselves,
we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread.
The sun, the earth, love, friends,
our very breath are parts of the banquet….
Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host,
and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long?
-Rebecca Harding Davis
By now everyone has read and seen the devastation caused by the earthquake measuring a magnitude of 7.9 in the Sichuan province of China. We have been holding our breath these past couple of days since dear friends of ours were living and working in China but were extremely fortunate and arrived saftely back home in India.
Many, many others are yet to be accounted for, and have not been left untouched by this horrific natural disaster– something of this extent not witnessed in over thirty years.
There are several relief organizations scrambling to help those who have been affected by this catastrophe, though what’s growing increasingly frustrating is how the local government is really making things difficult for aid-workers to get through and deliver assistance ASAP.
We continue to send our deepest sympathies and heartfelt condolences to all those affected by this tragic event.
-shanti
“This day is a special day, it is yours
Yesterday slipped away, it cannot be filled anymore with meaning
About tomorrow nothing is known.
But this day, today, is yours, make use of it.
Today you can make someone happy.
Today you can help another,
This day is a special day, it is yours.
-INDIAN POEM-
Howard S. Hoffman
We tend to see only what we are prepared to comprehend.
Howard S. Hoffman …On Life
Tula Karras
When your child is diagnosed with an eating disorder your life changes- permanently. There is no looking back (though you do, and weep and grieve for the child you once knew and still know lies underneath the ED just waiting to find his/her way back– and they do!) there is no denying the obvious even when this illness can completely blindside and throw you off your center until you fully understand and grapple with its complexity– and even then you can still be utterly perplexed.
But you take action, keep your son/daughter safe, provide nutritional sustenance, comfort and support. You find the appropriate medical care, treatment facilities and resources that will help him/her, as well as yourself, find their way back to health, well being and continuing to work towards their full recovery– however that needs to happen- you just do it. We’re parents, Moms&Dads, families, grandparents, cousins, all taking those measures and lending a hand because we love each other and want to see those suffering find their way back to their true selves, living their dreams, passions and finding happiness- not perfection- in what gift of our Lives we have been given. Life is certainly not an easy journey, and growing up, becoming an adult, raising a family, fumbling through difficulties– these are all illuminating lessons to help bring us back to grace and compassion, wisdom and understanding.
Something within my own inner perspective and thinking is having a bit of a snag though. Maybe because I know how damn hard it is to wrestle with an illness our daughter was diagnosed with over a year ago. Knowing how hard she has worked to get to where she is now, how much more persistence and vigilance she will continue to have, especially now that she is fully discharged from the eating disorder program she has been intensely involved with for several months, and facing a culture and society that seems to be ironically having increased insecurities, issues and numbers of individuals (especially within older adult populations) with “disordered eating” patterns and behaviors, which to me on the outside look and behave just like our daughter did prior to her being diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa.
There is this surreal sensation that comes over me when I briefly skim over an article in SELF Magazine that highlights a partnered survey studythat was done in collaboration with Dr Cynthia Bulik and the University of North Carolina that states that “3 out of 4 American Women have disordered eating” and the magazine survey whose participants numbered over 4000, and probably still counting on both the survey, forum and follow up, continue to show an increase in disordered eating patterns and ranges of destructive habits that clearly as Dr Margo Paine boldly states exemplifies, “Dieting is a national pastime for women” and “as a society, we don’t see the problem“.
The survey also goes further into describing additional categories that 6 out of 10 (1 out of 10 have eating disorders) women who are categorized as “disordered eaters” describe themselves into specific subsets:
* Calorie Prisoners
* Secret Eaters
* Career Dieters
* Purgers
* Food Addicts
* Extreme Exercisers
Of course, none of these descriptors are new. But while some studies and stats have been pointing towards an increase of younger individuals being diagnosed with eating disorders, which may indeed be on the rise, though it’s always difficult to know whether we are only getting better at earlier diagnosing and intervention; and if some of the outcry and attention to the issue is creating the continued awareness, discussion, research and treatment standards. But this survey, as some previous others, is showing the age range to be in the adult category of a 25-45 year old female base, and from what I’ve read in some previous studies, this seems to be more consistent and increasing if you are to follow the conclusions.
Yes, I’m perplexed and even angry. I don’t want to see anyone needlessly suffering with any disordered eating behavior(s) that can have even the subtlest of impact upon ones’ health- period. But I also have another irritating irk in thinking about the continued impact these findings, if they are showing continued rises in eating-disordered behavior have upon our youth and young adults who are watching, reading, and taking in this information too. What, if anything does this ultimately translate to and what can be done to counteract this deranged preoccupation with dieting, body-dissatisfaction, and just overkill of the human body? When will the craziness stop just long enough to take a step back, breathe, and find acceptance and compassion for who you are as you are being enough, being worthy– because we all are.
And our kids need us to model and reinforce these strong capabilities and common-sense practicalities. When I see a book titled: My Beautiful Mommy I think this is a joke, right? But I find that it’s written by a plastic surgeon, and really set on promoting this “upkeep” ideal while cunningly proclaiming under a guise of “help”. Are we so far gone into our self-absorbed psyches that we are so easily swayed and coerced into finding this worthy of publication to begin with? Apparently so, as the book is being sold and bought, joke or not– some are taking the bait and seem to be biting hard, though not into much that will keep one nutritionally and mentally stable.
Our daughter has to not only find safety, stability and assurance within her home environment, but the world outside as well. And this rant of a thread I’ve lowered myself to in this post just proves what an apparently obnoxious mother on a mission I am (imperfections and all- silicon free and able to eat minus fear thankfully) to keep my daughter moving towards a healthy, happy and internally sustained recovery and passionately what that means to me.
Ladies and Gentlemen, can this insanity please begin to find it’s way back in the hole from where it came? Like a fire out of control, can we begin to find some means of putting this insatiable flame to some simmering rational end? Will these studies and polls just continue to bloom, boggle and frustrate so many of us, while invoking the opposite within others to think less of themselves, and to possibly court a potential ED, especially for those who are either biologically, physiologically and/or genetically predisposed and vulnerable?
To continued Health, Strength & Insight for us all.
APF/Getty Images Bertrand Guay
There is quite a bit of debate heating up lately, even over at ATDT parents are sharing their thoughts on this topic, regarding recent legistlation created by France lawmaker Valerie Boyer that France is passing towards imposing strict fines, even imprisonment against the proliferation and promotion of “pro-ana/mia” within websites, media images, the fashion industry and beyond that continue to hightlight clearly unhealthy anorexic/ED’d-looking, emaciated ultra-thin bodies– “legislating body weight” some are finger-waging.
The reviews and feedback are certainly mixed, some downright misinformed- stiil -and so sorely one-sided which to me only illuminates just how complex these issues are; and more importantly how much more of this conversation and dialogue needs to keep happening and developing.
I haven’t delved into a full exploration of my opinions on this yet, but I do think while we can’t police every site, ban every image, twisted ideal there certainly is something that we are all responding and reacting to when we see someone who looks so severely malnourished, skeletal and unwell.
As a mother of a daughter who suffers from Anorexia Nerovsa I do have an immediate heartwrenching reaction to this issue, and do believe there is not just a “personal” responsiblity but public and social conscience we all need to be connected to and address at some basic level without turning a blind-eye and pretending none of this has any impact on society whatsoever– clearly it does.
Some incredible individuals and parent advocates have been hard at work the past two days in Washington working with legislators on Capital Hill for the annual Eating Disorders Coalition Lobby Day to push forth further measures and legislation in the continuation to further progress within treatment, research, prevention and education of eating disorders.
This is vital and necessary work. I for one am so very grateful, since I was not able to attend, for all of these individuals who have committed themselves towards improving the lives of those affected by this devastating illness and the families that are doing so much of this work solo, without much support, treatment resources, and clinicians adequately trained to best help their loves ones.
Thank you EDC and its sponsors, Ms Laura Collins– you are the best!
Facing the bluntness of reality is the highest form of
sanity and enlightened vision… Devotion proceeds
through various stages of unmasking until we reach
the point of seeing the world directly and simply
without imposing our fabrications… There may
be a sense of being lost or exposed, a sense of vulnerability.
That is simply a sign that ego is losing its grip
on its territory; it is not a threat.
-Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
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