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The world’s favorite season is the spring.
All things seem possible in May.
-Edwin Way Teale
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Is it really May, already?
Life has been good… definitely busy, but equally good!
The frenzy of prepping for gallery openings along with late nights doing my own work at the studio, holding support groups combined with some Yoga&Massage on the side has been quite the balancing act to say the least.
The end of the school year countdown has begun by our daughter, who has been finding recovery balances, challenges, and triumphs, mingled in with the excitement and plans for what she’ll be wearing and planning for graduation along with pre-summer preparations– Life is good!
And daily I try to make time to reflect on how grateful and blessed I am for my family, dear friends and acquaintances on this journey of Life- merci!
If you haven’t read Hinshaw’s The Triple Bind you need to…
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“Impossible expectations — Blue jeans and “blue” genes *(love this analogy)* : depression and the triple bind — Life in the pressure cooker : impossible expectations and the culture of busy-ness — No place to run, no place to hide : the popular culture of “self-erasing identities” — When virtue is its own punishment : how empathy and verbal skills may put our girls at higher risk — Bratz dolls and pussycat dolls : teaching our girls to become sexual objects — The wired child : how cyberculture interferes with girls’ identities — See Jane hit : the new culture of violence among teenage girls — Is there a triple bind solution? — Conclusion: coming to terms with the triple bind.”
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I love how the birth of International No Diet Day began “from a picnic in Mary’s living room” in the early ’90’s and fertilized it’s magnitude world-wide. Ms Evans-Young is herself a recovered anorexic and wrote the book Diet Breaking: Having it all Without Having to Diet and it couldn’t be a better time than now to let the message sink in– deep and with reflection.
Largesse gives the background on the term: size esteem which was initially coined by Richard Stimson, husband to a contributing director/writer at the site, Karen Stimson who explains it perfectly:
- Feeling acceptance of, respect for, and pride in one’s body, whatever its size or shape -
But I like this analogy even more highlighted by Cheri Erdman EdD who wrote the book Live Large! and thought about it as a simple yet poignant equation: Size Acceptance + Self Esteem = SIZE ESTEEM
Either way you think about it, the insanity of dieting, wanting to force our bodies to be a size/shape it was not genetically determined to be– and thankfully so for the beautiful variety of shapes, sizes, colors, we all add to the collage of life, is quite dubious.
It’s even further magnified when you or a loved one suffer from an eating disorder and are trying to regain your health and follow through with recovery and maintaining wellness in a seemingly endless fat-phobic, diet-crazed, fashion-consumed environment. Our daughter at times can take on this incessant self-doubt and accusational inquiries about why she has to eat what she has to when others, her classmates, etc. eat less than she does and are constantly discussing “fat” laden topics— it’s enough to make anyone go a little bonkers. Advertisers, marketing, the health ins field, even health care (hey, let’s face it– those mega-million dollar hospitals that now look more like shopping malls want to treat the ill business) and the all time winner: the diet industry.
Stuffed and Starved is a title from researcher Raj Patel more about food prices, the global-glut, etc. but I had to think about this a little bit more this morning how it really ties into so many other layers of Life– and will be worth dissecting and playing off the similar as well as dissimilar dualities we can only pretend don’t exist, or just think is someone else’s “problem” to fix, get over, medicate– like the cliched remark I’ve heard countless times since our daughter was diagnosed with anorexia- “why doesn’t she just eat?!”, then the instant turn against parents when our children don’t eat = it’s your fault, you did something “wrong”, etc.
Yes, INDD is a day we find relative and meaningful in our family. And with the weather reaching low 70’s, sun shining– I think a picnic is just what we’ll do to celebrate this day!
-shanti
Howard S. Hoffman
We tend to see only what we are prepared to comprehend.
Howard S. Hoffman …On Life
Facing the bluntness of reality is the highest form of
sanity and enlightened vision… Devotion proceeds
through various stages of unmasking until we reach
the point of seeing the world directly and simply
without imposing our fabrications… There may
be a sense of being lost or exposed, a sense of vulnerability.
That is simply a sign that ego is losing its grip
on its territory; it is not a threat.
-Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
I find Eating By The Light Of The Moon to be a fitting thought for the day…
Your body is precious.
It is your vehicle for awakening,
treat it with care.
-BUDDHA
Does this sound familiar?
“It’s nearly always easier to relate to someone who’s been through it than a so-called expert who may have clinical or scientific knowledge but not real experience.”
“ADHD - _____ (substitute any subcategory of an eating disorder in here) is a real condition… It’s not laziness or bad parenting… When it’s carefully diagnosed the problems are quite serious, and the effects on ones life can be devastating.”
“There are so many qualities that come along with ADHD: intelligence, high energy, the ability to accomplish a lot, creativity, passion for cause, innovativeness, trustworthiness, etc. But the trick is you have to learn how to live with it and harness it. It is a difference. Realize you have lots of company.”
College freshman, BlakeTaylor has written an earnest and significant memoir: ADHD & Me: What I Learned from Lighting Fires at the Dinner Table (Laura, how about some gold forks and fire at the Dinner Table?) and his story is testament to living a life to its fullest despite some definite challenges and changes along the way.
There’s a poignant evolution in language, terminology- 1902- “Morbid Defect of Moral Control”* 1968- “Hyper-kinetic Reaction of Childhood”* 1980- Attention Deficit Disorder* 1990- ADD- and awareness that has taken place over the past hundred-plus years which, similar to Eating Disorders, has also expanded studies and research broadening the level of understanding Attention Deficit Disorder has arrived at today. But as within eating disorders, the labeling and categorizing hasn’t critically changed perceptions and stereotypes that still pervade within society, or within extensivley improving treatment strategies for these disorders which have profound impact upon an individuals development, quality of life, and effects within the entire family.
Mr Taylor states that he didn’t set out to write a book, and from accounts, it appears his story is a first within an autobiographical narrative living with ADHD. On that end, eating disorders has a bit of an edge with various self-help books, and courageous personal stories of recovery: Carrie Arnold’s Next To Nothing, Nadia Shivali’s Inside Out among many others; although the male voice is not equally as strong or heard on this end currently.
I think what’s incredibly powerful and uniting is the message of “encouraging people to get the support and help they need” that Mr Taylor emphasizes, as too the many who have recovered from an eating disorder state over and over again- you don’t have to do this alone, and YOU CAN DO IT! Blake’s mother, Nadine, shares another message many parents who help their children battle an eating disorder know all to well also: advocating for your loved one.
Congratulations Blake Taylor for your courage, honest words, and changing minds regarding living a kick-ass life with ADHD- I wish you the best towards your degree in molecular/cell biology, and I’m looking forward to reading more of your future writings on various genres soon. I also extend kudos to all the brave and resilient voices who have written about their journey through recovery from an eating disorder, and hope those who might feel isolated or uncertain where to turn for support, find strength and encouragement through amazing individuals such as these.
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